She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
