Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
