how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize