Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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