I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize