Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
