hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
