The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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