In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
