Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
