her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
