a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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