What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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