she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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