I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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