So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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