My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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