He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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