when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
