dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize