Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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