the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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