If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
