Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
