Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
