My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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