U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
