I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
