bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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