He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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