Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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