I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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