dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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