I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
