I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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