Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's blow job season.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
