I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
