I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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