Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
