Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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