I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
