so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
