HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
