I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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