Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
