Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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