AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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