He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize