Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
