Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
