Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
