It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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