He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
