these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
