chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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