let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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